Thursday, March 17, 2011

vivian's note on tyler's last moments 031711

March 7 / 1:25 pm Tyler's last moments.

by Vivian Ketchum on Wednesday, March 16, 2011 at 11:44pm


Monday morning. I woke up quickly and glanced over to the hospital bed to see if my son was still with us.

My son was losing his brave fight with a brain tumour and family members were spending the last moments with him. It is has been little over four months since the diagnoses and I was feeling a sense of disabelief at how quickly I was losing my son. Now it was possible only hours  not a life time that I had with my son.

I got up and went over to his bed and gave him a hug and kiss. It felt great to hug him with out any tubes   or machines in my way.Just feeling the warmth of his cheeks and hands gave me a false sense of hope that he would be alright, but then I would listen to his laboured breathing and the reality of the situation would hit me. My son was dying and soon.

I put some gospel music on and washed up my face. I walked around the tiny room and my son's dad , Lenny was there and was my son's auntie, Pauline.

I was planning on going home for about hour to wash up, but Tyler's last moments was near, so instead I phoned rev Margaret to let her know that Tyler's breathing had changed.

I went and sat by his bed and rememberly fondly of the moments that I first brought him home as a baby. How I kept touching him. Smelling the newborness. Examining his tiny fingers and toes, awed by how perfect they seemed to me.

Now that my son's last moments were close, I agained touched his arms and hand, gently. Putting my head on his hand and letting my tears flow onto his hand. I could smell the faint smell of his dad's cigerette smoke mixed  with our son's unquie smell. I was trying my best to memorized my son's features, smell and how he felt, the warmth of his hands and face. I neded to capture these memories .

My son's dad was also doing what he could to capture his private memories of our son,by tenderly washing his face, ears and hands. Clipping his toes nails and making sure his fingersnails were trimmed neatly. Just like when our son was a baby.

Just then, Rev Margaret stepped into the room and had brought lunch with her. We sat around my son's bed side and ate. I glanced at the clock wishing that I could turn it back.Back to when my son was healthy and full of life. Suddenly there was change in my son breathing and I put my hand on his chest , his heart was beating rapidly. I glanced at the Rev, then Lenny told us he needed to step out for awhile.
I was still sitting by my son's bedside holding his hand, his auntie, Pauline at the end of the bed,holding his feet and the Rev was holding his other hand. I kept telling my son that I loved him and that I would be alright, then I realized that he would be missing me also. I put my hand up too his cheek and then felt his face nudging it gently. My son was in a deep coma and shouldn't have been able to move at all. my son was letting me that he loved me. Earlier he was twitching his finger, when his dad was sitting next to him and giving his auntie slight hand squeezes. My baby was letting us know he loved us.
It was twenty after one and my son was giving his last breaths , I was breathing with him until the Rev told me to breath normal. Five minutes later, my son was shrugging his shoulders as he was throwing off his physical body and breathe his last gasp and then I actually saw something leave his body. The Rev asked my sister , Pauline to get the nurse , who came to check his vitals. There was still a heart beat but very weak. Then at 1:45, my son's eyes opened up and they were very clear. I wish i could have seen what he was looking at that moment. Awe and light were what I saw in his eyes. Then my son's face went very pale and his heart beat ceased to beat.

My baby was gone.



When my son's last moments came, it was very peaceful. I held his hand. I think Tyler waited for his dad to leave the room befoore he left, maybe knowing this was very difficult for his dad.
When his dad came back into the room, Rev Margaret Mullin told lenny thato ur son was gone.Lenny collasped on his knees by the bed in tears.  
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    • Theresa L Toms Oh Vivian..... wow readding this made me feel like I was right there in the room with you guys as well. It is hard to watch a loved one pass away like this, but it is something that has to be done. Tyler is happy that he was not alone. You were there to bring him into this world, and you were there right by his side like you promised him you would be when the time came.
      20 hours ago ·
    • Margaret Mullin I felt like I was walking on holy ground being invited to join Vivian Lenny and Pauline for Tylers last couple pf hours.
      11 hours ago · · 1 personLoading...
    • Theresa L Toms Well Rev.... you have been there a lot for them, and they respected you for that. TY for being there for them!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

tyler's funeral arrangements

Details are as follows:

via vivian 030911: Tyler's wake and funeral services will be held at Salvation Army Weetamah 324 Logan ave. on Thursday eve beginning at 7 p.m. amd on Friday a.m. starting at 11 a.m. March 10 and 11.
51 minutes ago

re cards & flowers for tyler, via rev marg 030911: In lieu of flowers Tyler's family requested that donations be made to Winnipeg Inner City Missions [wicm.ca], Box 2444 Station Main Winnipeg R3C 4A7 . Cards and letters can be sent to Vivian Ketchum at the same mail box number. Her mailbox is not secure at home. 2 hours ago


Tyler's obituary:

Tyler Owen Ketchum – Medicine Bear Man July 30 1986 – March 7 2011
After a courageous battle with a brain tumour it is with deep regret that we announce that Tyler Owen Ketchum - Medicine Bear Man, lost his fight Tuesday afternoon.
Left to cherish Tyler’s memories are his beloved furry friend ‘Fat Cat’, his mother Vivian Ketchum, his father Lenny McKay, his brothers and sisters Ryan, Daryl, Stephanie, Jestine, Eddie, and Lenny Jr, his grandmother Agnes McKay, his ‘other mother’ Leona McKay, and his best friend Glen George.
Tyler’s numerous Aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, teachers, floor hockey buddies, and his coworkers at Viewpoints, Garda, and APTN will all miss Tyler’s caring nature, his smile, and his sense of humour.
Active pallbearers will be Lenny McKay, Edwin Everett, Joey Everett, Ernie Delorand, Bobby McKay, Larry Mckay, Roseanna Daigle and Leonard Beardy. Honorary pallbearers will be all those who deeply loved Tyler.
The family will be forever grateful to Dr Kauffman and the neurosurgical team at Health Science Centre, the nurses on A5 and in SICU, the numerous doctors and health care team members, Traditional Elder, Roger Armitte, family, friends, and Rev Margaret for walking with them and Tyler through Tyler’s final stage of life.
A wake service will be held on Thursday March 10 at 7 p.m. followed by a Funeral service on Friday March 11 at Salvation Army -Weetamah 324 Logan Avenue with the Rev Margaret Mullin Officiating. Internment will follow at the Brookside cemetery

Monday, March 7, 2011

one more angel in heaven, one more star in the sky

via vivian:  my son's spirit left his body at 1:25 pm this afternoon. Tyler's auntie Pauline, his dad and I were at side when he left. Rev Margaret Mullin was also there. There was gospel music playing and the Rev read a scripture to him as passed away. It was peacefull. Arrangements will be posted later or as early as tommorow.
about an hour ago


via rev margaret: Tyler Ketchum's Spirit left to be with God at 1:25 p.m today. I will post the dates and times for the wake service and funeral service as soon as I know. here will also be a memorial service on his hiome reserve. Tyler died peacefully. There was no struggle and no pain and he was being held by Vivian, Lenny, His auntie Pauline, and I. It was an honor to be there with him.
about an hour ago

moved to private room 030711

via rev marg 030711: Tyler Ketchum has been moved to a private room in the Burn Unit at HSC. He can be monitored from there and it gives the family more privacy. Visitors are allowed. His heart is strong but his breathing is shallow and rapid. The last thing Tyler wrote to his Dad and said to me is that he will be okay however this turns out and that God is with him.46 minutes ago

Sunday, March 6, 2011

tyler - ever stubborn 030611

Tyler's brave fight against his brain tumor.

by Margaret Mullin on Sunday, March 6, 2011 at 4:59pm
 Dr Hauffmann the neuro surgeon calls Tylers tumor extremely rare and extremely unusual.  And typical of Tyler he is doing this his way and not the expected way.  Tyler Ketchum is alive and still in a coma. His body is determined to live. Life support was taken off 24 hours ago. Tyler has faced this whole journey through the brian tumor fight with calmness, dignity, and courage. The last thing he wrote to his Dad was "God is with me". One of the last things he said to me was to let everyone know that he was going to be okay wether he lived or died because God was with him.He figures either way he wins.  He was just worried about the rest of us, especially his Mom. I wish I could see what he is seeing now because every now and then he has this cute grin spread across his face.  It only lasts for a moment but those moments are precious.
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  • 4 people like this.
    • Theresa L Toms He is such a wonderful young man..... He sees things that most never see. I am so glad I got to meet him. Thank you for sharing this with us Rev.
      about an hour ago · 
    • Susan Currie That's Kauffman, Margaret....you're tired. This amazing Dr iswith a K not an H.
      about an hour ago

last moments being spent surrounded by family & friends 030611

via vivian 030611: Tyler last moments are being spent surrounded by his family and friends. Rev Margaret has also been at his side most of the night, she sits next to him, holding his hand. Tyler is in no pain at all and the nurses are doing a great job of keeping him comfortable and giving his family privacy. It is a very peaceful and serene.
about an hour ago

Tyler is taking his sweet time saying good bye. the nurses and other medical staff have been dropping to pay their respects and leaving with tears in their eyes. I spent most of the night laying next to him and other family members and friends are also sitting with him. Tyler is not left alone.
about an hour ago

Saturday, March 5, 2011

now off all machines 030511

via vivian 030511: Tyler is off all machines and family is gethered by his bedside. There is alot of llot of love and terars here.
38 minutes ago